- Adoptive Parent Education
- June 17, 2018
With the all-important celebration of Father’s Day, Let It Be Us asked four adoptive Fathers about how adoption changed their lives, and also asked for some advice for those men considering becoming Fathers through adoption. To all Fathers out there, we honor you with these Father’s words:
Bob Noonan, self-proclaimed biological empty nester and father of 3 young adults, and newly adoptive father of 2 little boys …
How has becoming a father through adoption changed your life?
I’m a strong believer that building a child’s character is formed and molded in a solid family upbringing driven with unconditional love and guidance. I am one of eleven children – I’m # 7 out of 11 – and I know this 1st hand. My wife and I now have 5 children of our own – 2 adopted from foster care, which has changed our lives for the better. We have learned that you can easily give and receive love from a child that’s not your own blood, as my wife and I have been blessed to discover and realize this. So many parents can easily do this and make a big difference in a child’s life’s opportunity.
What advice do you have for those men who are considering becoming a father though adoption?
That’s simple – just do it! Jump in and become a loving father, mentor, best friend, advocate, and role model to a child who is in need.
Bob Ben, adoptive father of two teens …
How has becoming a father through adoption changed your life? It’s been very rewarding and challenging at the same time as I want the very best for my children every single day.
What advice do you have for those men who are considering becoming fathers through adoption?
My advice is to be patient. The adoption process has many twists and turns. Understand upfront that the more time and effort you put into parenting, the more rewarding it will ultimately be.
David Boyd, adoptive father of two little boys …
How has becoming a father through adoption changed your life? Becoming a father has made me want to be a better man. I now have a fire in me that is indescribable. I am more focused in my career and less distracted by the nonsense around me. At the end of the day I can sit back and just be a proud father. I am proud of them for being good to their mother and for helping out around the house. Little things in life become very precious.
What advice do you have for those men who are considering becoming a father through adoption? Your child is going to need you regardless of who gave birth to them. If you want my real advice I would say to try to lead by example. Your children are going to mirror your actions so be aware of the example that you set for them. Know that you only get a short time to raise your children and don’t ever take it for granted. It is really cool when you start to see what brings your children joy. Always encourage them to chase there owns dreams.
I actually feel very blessed that I was asked these questions, because I never feel that I have enough of an opportunity to talk about my children.
Doug McConnell, father of four young adults, three by adoption …
How has becoming a father through adoption changed your life? Well, it’s changed my life immeasurably. Having any child would. Your perspective and scope on everything expands more than you ever thought possible. Our adoptions are open, so just being able to observe all of these additional people who love your children unreservedly makes it that much more expanded. In terms of changing my life, the opportunity to have a big, happy and healthy family is something I always wanted and this was a wonderful way to accomplish that goal.
What advice do you have for those men who are considering becoming a father through adoption? Keep an open mind. Most of our perceptions about adoption and all of the phases and facets of it are wrong and unless you are able to keep enough of an open mind to learn that they are wrong you won’t ever learn the benefits of those relationships. Learning to cope with challenges, whether they emanate from adoption or just parenthood, is also a pretty valuable skill to enhance. I would also say that the rewards that come from being an adoptive father are just incalculably huge. I can’t even explain what a wonderful world I live in because of adoption.
Consider supporting the Let It Be Us mission of adoption and education of children in Illinois foster care on this Father’s Day with your donation to your Dad. Have a great Father’s Day!
Let It Be Us is a 501(c)(3) with the mission of adoption and education of children in Illinois foster care. Learn more about their work at www.LetItBeUs.org.