Keeping Connections: Adoption Ethics, Openness, and the Lifelong Well-Being of Children Adopted through Foster Care

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February 5, 2026

Keeping Connections: Adoption Ethics, Openness, and the Lifelong Well-Being of Children Adopted through Foster Care

Adoption through foster care is, at its heart, an act of love and commitment. It is also an ethical responsibility. Children adopted through foster care do not come without history, they come with relationships, identities, siblings, and deep emotional roots. Ethical adoption honors all of that. One of the clearest ways adoptive parents can do this is through openness with birth families and steadfast commitment to sibling connections when it is safe and in the child’s best interest.

Openness does not mean co-parenting or blurred boundaries. In foster care adoptions, openness most often includes updates, mediated communication, phone or video calls, and sometimes in-person visits. What it always includes is truth-telling.

Decades of research show that openness in adoption is not harmful to children’s mental health and is often associated with positive outcomes. A landmark longitudinal study by Grotevant and McRoy (1998), followed by later analyses by Grotevant and colleagues, found no evidence that openness causes confusion or emotional harm. In fact, adolescents in open adoptions demonstrated equal or better psychological adjustment compared to those in closed adoptions.

More recent studies reinforce this. Research published in Child Development and Adoption Quarterly shows that adoptees who grow up with honest information and respectful contact (when safe) experience:

Greater identity coherence
Lower levels of externalizing behaviors
Higher satisfaction with their adoption experience
Reduced feelings of rejection or abandonment

Importantly, it is not the existence of contact that predicts healthy outcomes, it is the quality of communication. Adoptive parents who can speak openly about adoption, acknowledge loss alongside love, and respect birth family connections foster greater emotional security in their children.

Foster care adoption and openness: a system gap

While openness is increasingly common in private domestic adoption, it is less consistent in foster care adoption. National data suggests that fewer than half of foster care adoptions maintain any post-adoption contact with birth family members. This is not because openness is harmful, it is often due to lack of guidance, fear, or misunderstanding.

In Illinois, the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) allows adoptive families and birth relatives to discuss post-adoption contact plans. However, Illinois law makes clear that post-adoption contact agreements are not legally enforceable after finalization. This legal reality elevates the ethical responsibility of adoptive parents. If openness is promised, it must be approached with integrity, reflection, and a child-centered lens, not as a bargaining tool, but as a commitment to the child’s long-term well-being.

Ethical adoptive parenting asks:
What will my child need to understand their story, feel whole, and remain emotionally grounded, not just now, but as a teenager and adult?

Siblings separated by placement: an ethical imperative

Sibling separation is one of the most profound and under-acknowledged losses experienced by children in foster care. National studies indicate that over 60% of children in foster care have at least one sibling, and many are placed apart due to placement shortages or placement limitations, not because separation is best for the children.

Research consistently shows that sibling relationships provide:

Emotional regulation and continuity
Protection against trauma and placement instability
A shared narrative that supports identity development

Studies published by the Child Welfare League of America and the National Resource Center for Permanency and Family Connections demonstrate that maintaining sibling contact improves emotional outcomes and placement stability, even when siblings cannot live together.

Illinois law recognizes this importance. The state allows for Post-Permanency Sibling Contact Agreements, and youth age 14 and older must consent to these plans. However, like birth family contact agreements, these arrangements are voluntary and not enforceable in court.

That legal reality places the ethical responsibility squarely on adoptive parents.

What ethical openness with siblings looks like in practice

Ethical adoptive parenting does not end at finalization. When siblings are placed in separate adoptive homes, ethical responsibility includes:

Treating sibling contact as essential, not optional
Creating predictable, reliable schedules for visits or virtual connection
Taking on the logistical burden … transportation, coordination, and communication belong to the adults
Shielding children from adult conflict or discomfort
Adjusting plans thoughtfully as children grow, while preserving the relationship

Sibling bonds are often the longest relationships adoptees will have in their lives. Protecting those bonds is not an act of generosity, it is an act of justice.

The heart of ethical adoption

Openness in foster care adoption is not about easing adult discomfort. It is about sending a powerful message to a child:

You are allowed to love family members who loves you. Your story is not erased. Your relationships matter.

When adoptive parents commit to ethical openness, with birth families when safe, and always with siblings, they give adoptees something irreplaceable: permission to be whole.

References:

Grotevant, H. D., & McRoy, R. G. (1998). Openness in adoption: Exploring family connections. SAGE Publications.
https://doi.org/10.4135/9781452243625

Grotevant, H. D., Rueter, M. A., Von Korff, L., & Gonzalez, C. (2011). Post-adoption contact, adoption communication, and satisfaction with contact in adoptive families. Child Development, 82(5), 1372–1388.
https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2011.01628.x

Grotevant, H. D., Wrobel, G. M., van Dulmen, M. H. M., & McRoy, R. G. (2006). Openness in adoption: Outcomes for adolescents within their adoptive kinship networks. Journal of Adolescent Research, 21(1), 78–102.
https://doi.org/10.1177/0743558405282763

Neil, E., Beek, M., & Ward, E. (2015). Contact after adoption: A longitudinal study of adoptive parents and birth relatives. Adoption Quarterly, 18(2), 109–134.
https://doi.org/10.1080/10926755.2014.895467

Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2019). Postadoption contact agreements. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Children’s Bureau.
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubpdfs/cooperative.pdf

National Resource Center for Permanency and Family Connections. (2011). Siblings in foster care and adoption: Best practices for maintaining connections.
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/siblingconnections.pdf

Child Welfare League of America. (2013). Siblings in out-of-home care.
https://www.cwla.org/siblings-in-out-of-home-care/

Illinois Department of Children and Family Services. (n.d.). Adoption procedures manual & post-adoption services.
https://dcfs.illinois.gov/adoption.html

Illinois Compiled Statutes. (n.d.). 705 ILCS 405/1-3 & related provisions regarding sibling contact and permanency.
https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs3.asp?ActID=1005

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families. (2022). The AFCARS report.
https://www.acf.hhs.gov/cb/data-research/afcars

Additional Reading Opportunities on Openness in Foster Care Adoptions:

About Let It Be Us:
Let It Be Us is a nonprofit organization dedicated to recruitment, matching and placement within foster care and adoption across the State of Illinois. Through innovative programming and strategic partnerships, Let It Be Us aims to improve outcomes for children in the child welfare system. Learn more at www.letitbeus.org.

Dr. Susan A. McConnell, DSW, MBA

Dr. Susan A. McConnell is the Founder and Executive Director of Let It Be Us, an Illinois licensed child welfare agency with the mission of providing collaborative, innovative solutions of effective recruitment and placement within Illinois foster care and adoption. Susan has an MBA from DePaul University and a Doctorate Degree in Social Work from the University of Southern California, where her work focused on permanency within child welfare. She is the Chair of the Permanency Committee of the Illinois Statewide Foster Care Advisory Council, appointed by the Director of the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) in 2017. She is also an adoptive parent with over 30 years of open adoption experience. She can be reached at susanmcconnell@letitbeus.org.

Let It Be Us is an Illinois 501(c)3 and licensed child welfare agency. The mission of Let It Be Us is to provide collaborative, innovative solutions of effective recruitment and placement within Illinois foster care and adoption. The Let It Be Us platform manages the Adoption Listing Service of Illinois and the Heart Gallery of Illinois, engines of success for Illinois foster care adoptions. The Let It Be Us vision is for all children in the Illinois child welfare system to achieve educational equity, employment equity, and overall well being through the incorporation of Let It Be Us Programming into statewide advancements in foster care and adoption recruitment and placement. For more information about Let It Be Us, visit www.letitbeus.org.

Keeping Connections: Adoption Ethics, Openness, and the Lifelong Well-Being of Children Adopted through Foster Care